Clubbers' Dialogue

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I recently attended Club Crash in downtown S.F. at the requests of SinCin (and MaryMare). And it struck me as a culture shock (in reverse) that I haven’t experienced so many Asians in a club for quite awhile now. I bring this up as a prelude to a topic that has been nourishing my mind. SinCin and I had a converstion about male wall-huggers at these clubs, whom she terms as “buzz kills”. I can’t necessarily say I’m the model clubber myself, as I’m pretty much semi-retired from the scene, and I only go clubbing at the invitation of females. I refuse to go clubbing with all male groups. (And don’t defend yourselves by telling me you go there to pick up girls. Yeah, whatever… How old are you?) But, I’ve become observant of the typical wall-hugger that can cause a buzz kill… and this is what I believe or imagine a conversation goes down between them:

Adam: Whattup?
Fred: Whattup, niggah?
Adam: Whattup?
Fred: Whattup, whattup…
(Givin’ each other a pound.)
Adam: Whatcho been up too? Still makin’ that money?
Fred: Tryin’ too. Still workin’ out the details. I got my boy down in L.A. who’s finna help me with a business idea I’ve been workin’ on.
Adam: Coo.
Fred: Damn, check out the hon-nies in this place!
Adam: Yeah.
(The DJ transitions from freestyle dance to hip-hop.)
Adam: I love this song. (nods head continuously)
Fred: Yeah, the beat is tee-aight. (nods head continuously)
Adam: And off the hook!
Fred: Yeah.
Adam: Coo.
Fred: How about that girl over there?
Adam: She ah-ight.
Fred: Damn, her friend’s an ugly ass biatch there.
Adam: Her friend ain’t too bad.
Fred: But you know, she’s probably one of them stuck up biatches! Don’t wanna waste my time with those kind. Probably only out for a boy’s money.
Adam: Yeah… Whatcha drinkin’ there?
Fred: Just beer.
Adam: Coo, coo. I’m down wit’ dat.

Bartender (yells): Last call!

Adam: Latez.
Fred: Latez.

The lights come up, and they go home.