the best way to predict the future is to invent it.”
– Alan Kay, inventor
People flatter me by telling me that I have the potential to make something of myself… yet, they say, I seem, to sometimes, lack motivation. True, I’d rather be writing something, attending to my friends, or indulging in good conversational moments than work long overtime, unpaid hours/week, complain about how mediocre my job is, and vegetate while watching half-ass-made videos to churn the tide of “monotony”. I ain’t that bored with Existence.
But I understand the “why” of the constructive criticism I’ve been receiving. Therefore, in order to avoid arriving at the point of a “mid-life crisis” in 5 years, I’ve been writing and rewriting a 4-page “Self-Discipline” regiment for myself to foster growth to where I wanna be by the age of 35. It is entitled Wealth, Health, & Knowledge of Self, a title liberally taken from a hip-hop anthem KRS-One did a couple albums back. Sorry, but I won’t reprint that contract online here, as it is for my own personal use. (Create your own gawddamn contract!) But the following is a simple explanation of what each point is:
- Wealth: Financial & Economical Stability
- Health: Physical Well-Being & Equilibrium
- Knowledge of Self: Intellectual & Spiritual Consciousness
Why I’m doing this lies in a historical footnote I will quickly indulge in telling, you subspecies of Immortals. About 10 years ago, I was a reserved, anti-social, self-centered… well, fucken idiot. (Some of you claim that I’m still a “fucken idiot” but I claim that some of you a lot older than me are still “fucken idiots”. Thanks for being ispirational role models for what not to become. Now don’t complain that I never gave y’all credit where credit is due.) Anyways, yeah, 10 years ago, I had written a “Life” contract for myself entitled “Axioms: A System Of Self-Discipline”. It was a long list of things (about 25 pages, hand written) that was intended as a promotion of positive self-image, and to get rid of the “inferiority complex” that I believed I was suffering from. Examples were like: be non-judgmental (character), respect the opposite sex (social maturity), and read a lot of books (intellectual confidence). After 10 years, I assess that I’ve achieved about 80% of what was on that list, except to become a billionaire and a filmmaker. (There was a certain naiveness side to the process, alright? You fucken idiot.) But, for the next five years, I plan to aim for 100% with my new contract…
– Public Enemy, hip-hop legends
Potential to make something of myself? I ponder this statement. Does this imply that we all start out as “nobodys”? To seek status of being “somebody”, we must gain the acceptance of others? Is that not an external state of comfort? No. I am at war with my own Ego Of Ignorance… I refuse to lose… especially to the Self.
Happy 4th of July, folks!